i love you but

this is a piece i started writing a long time ago.
by "started writing" i mean i had the title in my mind and i had a general idea what i wanted it to be about.  but when i sat down and started writing it got away from me and became some kind of wisdom i know nothing about.

originally this was supposed to be a poem for the men who could not love me.  not a biting critique, but rather a simple exploration of why love needs limits.  because as bitter as i usually am when relationships crumble beneath my feet, i can usually (a few moments later) look back and smile at how people know when and how and why they cannot love.  that is not an easy thing, and i appreciate it when i see it.

i have my heart wide open.  it's not necessarily a good thing, but it's not all bad either.

i don't really know entirely what this is about.  i just started writing and all of these words were being hurled around in my mind and it was both confusing and lovely.  this became about the dips and trials of loving myself.  that is one of the things i have talked about before, and it is one of the most profound quests you go on.  so i want to be clear that there is no real 'you' i am talking to in this poem who i'm trying to teach about love or any nonsense like that.  it's really a conversation with myself.  and it's based on some of my dearest friendships.  because mostly these words are just a reminder for me to hold the love i have and hold it closely.  and sometimes i will falter and so will you but that's okay because that's kind of what love is.

but the first few lines, again, are not aimed at anyone but myself.  i'm afraid of coming across as preachy.  and then in the end the 'you' kind of transforms into being me and you and just about everyone.  i hope that makes sense.  we'll see.

i love my friends.

i love you but
there are treasures for you but you cannot hold them.  not with your hands stretched this wide because you can know love but it will flow through you.  love can do that.  flowers will wilt and their leaves will dry like they've never known water but the truth is they have.  and i have known you.  and i love you but we will falter.  and i love you but we will rise again.

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