Showing posts from January, 2013

from a woman who is hard to love

before we get started and my friends start grinding their teeth and saying but meaggy we love you! just know that i mean a very certain thing.  i mean i am the kind of woman that warsan shire talks about in this poem.  i know that people love me and i love them too.  this is more about me saying that i am the furthest thing from what the world wants me to be, and i'm okay with that.  but not everyone is.
you are terrifying and strange and beautiful something not everyone knows how to love.   (warsan shire) -- 
i love boundlessly.  i love people i barely know.  this is a phenomenon that comes not from being neurotic, but from caring sincerely and deeply about everything.  anytime i have any kind of crush or mild little love for anyone, it comes from this little chesnut of truth deep inside of my soul which is this: i really, genuinely, wholeheartedly and full-throttledly (notaword) love people.  i get deeply invested in people w…

partners for mental health: not myself today

hey guess what! i'm the newest community correspondent for partners for mental health!  this is one of my first steps to wellness.  there are a handful of us across canada and we do things like blog and tweet and engage with media to promote partners for mental health and their message!
when i started writing this blog, i was not well.  i would howl through the day and cry through the night and spend my days with the bell jar or i would sleep for 20 hours at a time.
once i started writing this blog i started perusing the internet for groups that support the mental health cause and work to eliminate mental health stigma.  and then i came upon partners for mental health (@PartnersforMH) and all of their campaigns and there were a lot of little cogs in my head that went clickclickclock because the organization is simple and lovely and everything the world needs it to be.  the organization is about mobilizing and action. 

so hi. my name is meaggy aylward.  i am a 22 year old go-girl …

ottawa, ho!

this is a short post to tell you that i am moving to ottawa today.   i am scared and it feels like someone has a balloon in the cavity of my torso that they are blowing up which feels a little like anxiety. and also excitement.  i'm excited too.  ottawa is full of the most wonderful people and my most darling friends and i know that this is the best thing i can do for myself right now and i will be full of happiness and fun and joy.
i'm driving with hot geoffrey, so obviously the road trip is going to be a hilarious display of disgruntled meaggy following redundant safety measures and my dear father trying to interrupt my crying.  maybe i will make a rule: dad you're not allowed to interrupt my crying. i'm going to get there and be hurled into errands like oh i don't know buying everything you need to live.   i will post something longer about the shared tragedy of moving away from newfoundland.  later.  when i'm done crying.  
for now, let this rock know i lo…

four: ring in the true

now it's time for a little cheerier new years post.
the previous one was a bit of a backstory.  just that i've been a bit sad (understatement supreme) the past few days and needed to take a bit of a weary look back on my year.
the truth is, from an objective point of view, i've had an amazing year.  i graduated from university, i was surrounded by friends, i got it together and changed my whole life plan, i've sung some songs, been with family, and gotten the courage to decide to move to ottawa so i can find my way home.

every moment happens twice, inside and outside
the world inside of me has been dark and dormant, but the world around me has been spinning so fast it sings.  sometimes it is impossible to reach the true - to hold and understand that the world spinning around you is the world you need to be part of.  but i'm a little happy today, and so i can stick my hand into a small velvet black abyss and pull out bells, little golden tones of truth and the ring …